Teenage Crack Princess

When I opened this blog, I had every intention of revealing my deepest & darkest secrets. This is one of them....

At the age of 14, I was a Crack Princess. Whats a crack princess? Well, I should let you know first of all that I have never once tried crack, but I was a crack princess because my mother was dating and we were living with the biggest crack dealer in South Florida, Jose Gutierrez. I wont be changing his name to protect any innocent for two reasons, 1) He isn't anything but innocent and 2) He died 3 years ago in prison.

When I was 11 years old, my mother had moved on from recreational use of drugs like Ecstasy and GHB to smoking crack. We knew mom was getting bad when we moved out of our upscale apartment into a 2 bedroom trailer in the middle of the ghetto. If I recall correctly, we only lived there for a few months with her 20 something boyfriend. I do remember Christmas that year, Me, my younger sister and my younger brother all received one gift to share, a Super Nintendo. We loved it, we played it all day. But the next morning, mom brought it back to Walmart.

Soon after Christmas, my sister and brother moved in with their dad and my grandparent came and took me to live with them. I spent 2 years with my grandparents, barely seeing my mother, probably because most of the time she was in jail.

But after a summer with my dad in Germany when I was 13, I came home to my grandparents and my mom came by one night and asked me to spend the weekend with her. I was so excited to spend time with her. But time with her was not at all what I got. When we arrived at her house, she was living with 3 spanish men and she told me she didn't feel comfortable having me sleep there. So she brought me down about 5 houses to her Friend Alice's house.

She introduced me and told my about her 14 year old daughter and said I would have fun. So I stayed. I didn't meet her daughter that weekend, instead I met her daughter's 18 year old boyfriend and his two friends age 17 and 20. i spent the whole weekend with them smoking weed and drinking.

I went home to my grandparents on Monday only to tell them I was moving out and going to my moms. They were so mad, they told me I could never come back to stay with them....that was a lie of course but I wont get into that now.

So my newly proclaimed 20 year old boyfriend came and whisked me away to my new house complete with no adult supervision and nothing but partying. After about 6 months, 2 sexual partners and 10 different drugs later...I moved into a house with my mom and her crack dealing boyfriend. Did I mention that her boyfriend spoke almost no English at all?

Anywho, My mom seemed to get skinnier by the day and she stopped hiding the fact that she was smoking crack from me. In fact I can recall her smoking it in front of me several times and chatting about the neighborhood rumors, like a normal daughter and her mother over coffee. Only with us there was the stench of burned rubber in the air.

At that point in my life I didn't realize how much I hated it, I could do whatever I wanted. I had been kicked out of school for possession of marijuana, I never had to pay for anything including drugs, they were just handed to me by anyone who wanted to get in good with my mom's boyfriend.

Finally, shortly after my 15th birthday, my mom had been arrested for possession charges and was sentenced to do weekends in jail for 7 weeks. Now to alot of you that wouldnt seem like much, but to an addict who would have to detox every Friday night, lay sick in bed all weekend only to get out on Monday and go right back to the drugs...it was hell. My mom convinced my grandfather to buy her a bus ticket and give her some spending cash and she left for Daytona beach. She got cleaned up...but it didn't last long..that's a whole new story.


thanks for reading.

GPS